Hello, ladies.

It being International Women's Day, it seemed appropriate that I should list the women in my life who have been an undying inspiration to me.  Even if I never talk to some of them anymore due to diverging life paths or what have you, I still think of key phrases and quirks that keep me in check whenever I come across something out of the ordinary in my daily life habits.

Obviously the first person I should be listing is my mother, Lisa Nguyen.  She was brought into my Vietnamese family as the first white woman to be married into our generally absurd but religiously vehement Catholic hive.  While it took me the better part of forever to appreciate everything about this sturdy and endlessly compassionate soul,  I suppose it's better now than never.  My existence became the first marker for my two siblings and eventually several cousins of mine who were born half Vietnamese and half white.  And now, half Filipino as well.  We're certainly expanding and growing as far as nature's genetic kitchen is concerned, if not fully mentally for our more traditional family members.

Where to begin?  She is one of the most resilient women I've ever known, and is a fierce warrior when it comes to providing and giving her children and husband all that she can offer within her reach.  If there was a way to realign the stars so we could get our favorite cookie from the bakery that closed three years ago, she'd do it.  Despite her being a conservative Christian woman, she is one of the most welcoming and openly loving humans who actually sticks to the practiced philosophy of loving people for who they are despite her own personal moral disagreements.  Quite the rare breed, if I do say so myself.  Especially with having a queer as all get out heathen daughter like myself. ;)  She taught me how to say what I meant but using a delicate finesse at the same time, how to love unconditionally, how to fight when I needed to and to let lie what could be revisited later.  She taught me to rely on myself and be resourceful, investigate things to the tiniest detail so as not to be taken advantage of, and most importantly she taught me to work my tail off.  Because that's what she did to provide for my siblings and I.  We are a middle class family, so we didn't have too much to want for and too little to savor.  It makes her sad that she spent so much time working to give us what she couldn't have and missing out on some key moments in our childhood, but to me she is still my hero. 

What was really important was that she never quit on my siblings or myself.   I think the biggest thing was that she never quit on me even though I was hitting rock bottom morally (according to her, anyway) and rock bottom in a couple other areas.  Or close to it.  She always focused on what we could do and where we could go next to be great.  I've probably been her biggest challenge and the overall result for her grey hairs that keep cropping up like weeds but she refuses to let me slip away from her.  And that never giving up attitude is...amazing.  Insurmountably.

My maternal Grandma, Angie Tucker.  Sicilian immigrant to the states in 1939 before Mussolini came into power, my Grandma grew up Italian raised but American bred, if that makes sense.  She always stuck to her roots of where she came from and made sure to raise me with a sense for having an iron will and speaking up for what I wanted.  Even if that meant ordering for myself at our usual breakfast spot, which for a kid who never talked and was insanely shy, those were terrifying moments.  She nurtured my curiosity for science, art, nature, and overall the meanings of life.  Plus she took me to the mall so I could play with the virtual arcade games.  You know, the kind where you're standing on this platform and wearing a head device from the future and a gun blaster in hand.  She was responsible for keeping my tiny human brain from lapsing into deep depressions, and even fended off a mad goose when he tried to bite my face off at the local Sellwood park.  Both she and my mother are also responsible for my feistiness.

Aunt Jen.  Regardless of our current relationship status now, when she was around she was my idol.  Anytime I got to speak with her or hang out with her I never felt judged, under-appreciated or like I could do any wrong.  Rather, I was gently guided to figuring out what to do with my angry 17 year old self and allowed a safe haven (out in the middle of no where in McMinnville) to hide out at on weekends when I just needed to get away.  I almost moved in with her and my uncle when they were still married just to get away from my mother, because at the time I was convinced she (my mom) was a terrible person and should just piss off.  But, thankfully, that never happened.  Not only would it have altered the course of events as they have guided me here, but it would have turned my world even more inside out with the events that happened with her marriage.  But I am grateful that for the time we were bonded, she was the lighthouse I could go to in my times of extreme emotional needs.

Vicki Doyle.  I initially dropped into her universe at the mention that I could watch her kid and get paid for it while she ran her hair salon downstairs.  So I was a part time live in nanny on weekends.  She and her brother and parents grew up with my mother and her siblings and parents, so there was already a good solid foundation of history.  She even took me to church for my parents when we could have easily avoided it all and just said we did it.  For me she somehow landed the role of...mentor/aunt...thing.  She is a back-breaking hard working lady, and a whirlwind of a personality to boot.  Despite her penchant for being one crass old broad, there was no question in my mind that she was a fierce fighter for her family and close friends.  If you needed a hand she was there to help in any way that she could.  She worked for everything she has now, and will probably be weilding a pair of clippers until she is six feet underground lobbing insults and laughing at you the whole way down.  She kept me in line during the time I consistently spent with her, and didn't let me get away with squat.  She also influenced me to work my butt off for what I had and do whatever it takes to get to where I need to go.  I think she also got me started on my snarky sense of humor as well, seeing as how I was her regular punching bag for a good couple of years. ;)

Angela Gay.  Artist, business woman, friend, mentor.  As weird as it is to have a friend who is also fulfilling the mentor role, I had to eventually admit to myself she was just that.  But not only, if that makes sense.  She was in a way like an older sister, once I got over my puppy love crush that went on for ages.  Also a sarcastic piece of work, she was there for me during my baby gay days.  I was at one point her biggest fan (before life took over) when she finally started showing her work in galleries.  Now she's married to a beautiful woman (whom I've never met), and momma to three dogs and two cats in a house she bought with her lovely wife.  I've never seen her house, I wasn't invited to her wedding, and despite my repeated attempts to rekindle our friendship she seems to hold no interest.  But when she was in my life she reminded me that it was important to appreciate the people who you spent time with and to be ok with letting them go when it was time for them to leave.  I always remember that whenever my connections with people begin to disappear and I still feel like there's more to go, but really there isn't.  And I think of her any time I make "your mom" jokes.

Lolly Patton.  I've slowly been learning more about this amazing specimen of a human being as time goes on, and she wows me like nobody's business.  Not only is she a vision to behold and worship for eons, her mind is a delightful endless collected calamity of odds and ends that range from your daily dose of advice to anecdotes about stealing gnomes from your front lawn (of which I've been a hapless victim to). ;)  She is a quiet riot, a battle ready defender for justice built on her long and well traveled road of shaping and re-shaping her place in the universe.  A proud mother of three children wise beyond their years and husband to one of my other good friends Benjamin Balzer.  She makes no apologies for hacking away at the places, situations and people who didn't add to her life and fills the bellies of those who do with more rice and beans than you can shake a stick at.  Pull a stool up to the kitchen bar and swap tales of all things sensical and non around a mouthful of food and a small glass of Jameson, and that in my book is a way to end your day when the world seems to enjoy beating the crap out of you.

The list is endless, really.  My cousins Lizzie, Julie and Amy, who continue to be as true to themselves as they know how and make no apologies for where they've taken themselves in life.  Carol Kappertz, who has survived a million and a half things that most humans couldn't survive and is still rarin' to go (and laughing at your woopsies in the process). My good friend Chelsie, who is a ridiculous powerhouse of a human being.  I've never met anyone more determined to get what she wants out of life and is fearless about tearing herself down to build back up into a human she can be more pleased with.  That takes balls.  My oldest friend Alex, whose endless compassion for people never ceases to amaze me.  Her patience is long and courageous, and is one of the more stable people in my life that I know will always continue to love no matter who you are or where you're from. 

To all these women...thank you for being in my life.  I probably wouldn't have made it here without you.